Sunday, June 10, 2012


So, since I was little, well, practically a baby, all I've heard is you are never ordinary, and your feet are tied to the ground of tradition and your mouth is shut from all of the bad things in the world. Luckily, I've managed to learn a curse or two to scream out when I'm really, really, really pissed out of something.

Like tonight, I'm so sick of the days I've spent working on a pen/paper test, practically writing my hands off my body. How I wish of being ambidextrous. At some point of my... Despair, I've managed to eat so many food and talk endlessly of how I'm sick of being tied up to rules and obligation, with no 'fun' chance at all. Several days ago, I showed Mom about a movie called Soegija in the papers and it's telling the life of a catholic cleric that... Pretty much saved Indonesia. Tonight, my mom decided to catch a late-night movie (not midnight, tho), and tell me that pretty much, all of my questions in my living years answers will be slipped to the movie somehow.

Maybe you have the same question on your head, like, why is 70% of my family is a very loyal catholic, and some of them are even chinese. Two of the most... Questionable thing in my school. The student board is so curious, every time I spent my time in their room, my time is up of answering rhetorical and mostly, random questions. Why I still visit chinese temples and burn coils and hio, and drop a tear when walking in to one of the famous catholic church in Semarang. The thing is, they're the one I need to thank because my family wouldn't be here in the first place without them.

During the chaos of the war with the Netherlands people, my ancestors were protecting each other under the roof of a holy church.

That explains the movie, and there reason why almost every Sumarno in my family is catholic. During the war, the catholic church is the most safe place on the island. It's something between the board of the church and Vatican, that protects everybody that's hiding in the church. That makes sense, with all of the tradition in Java that my family is turning catholic from kejawen. It's one of our thank yous and gratitudes towards the church board that was protecting most of my family from the meanness of Dutch, and Japan, and Dutch again. In the movie was explained that the most safe place is either the church or the hospital. With the hospital filled with infections and disease and all, I bet my great grandfather won't choose to hid there.

One of my favourite things about the movie is that it shows the two sides of every person, every part and every single detail. Like, how language is essential in order to do something right. And how Japanese people wanted peace during the surrender, and they actually enjoyed the song Bengawan Solo, planning to take it home with them, to Japan. Sometimes all I get from documentaries and based-on-real-life is mindfucks because I never know the integrity of the fact they're serving in the movie, but after some bitty research, I believe the facts. And that god loves us all. All, without exception.

One of the real life problem now is that religion is separating people. I got a friend who said, "Christians are different with us, muslims. So are hindu and buddhist." And I refuse to agree. We believe that god is one, so are them. If god is only one, than what actually differ us to them? It's only the human that fuck the system and everything. Religion actually means equality, that god is one and loving to each one of his creature. What mostly differ us to another belief is... Us. We made barriers, boundaries, of what we can do and what we can't do. The separation of belief is just another crap to lose the essence of the togetherness we supposed to have.

I'm so sensitive about religion and everything, you know that.

Indonesia is a free, independence country now because the (past) parts of it got it together, making lines and every thing into dust, and working towards the same goal. I know it needs major understanding and we have to pull our ego to the deepest bottom of our hearts, but, why not? Every problem in this country is solvable if every nation's leader stopped thinking about him/herself, and think of the future and the people under him/her. If independence is reachable, than what isn't? 

I really recommend this movie to watch, and no, it doesn't make me want to convert. Believe me. It's not a religion based movie, like Ayat Ayat Cinta or the other movie, it's about doing something towards our country before. This movie is something to burn that cold woods inside of us, to trigger a fire inside us that got us thinking, We, futurists are so stupid with the fact that we cannot run this country properly. One of my (insane) plan is to become another country citizenship, so I'm not politically Indonesian. It's pretty easy to lose one, though. But seeing the hard work and the blood and the cold bodies the past put into the future got me thinking... Do I really want to leave Indonesia, just like that? After all they did. Praying and praying for a better future, and when I, we, us, are the answers to their prayers? I even rethinking my plan of going so faraway from home, and I'm such an idealist, I shouldn't be reconsidering my choices.

And about the chinese... For all of the people reading this, that think chinese people are just a bunch of humans that should be chased down like in the past; here's the thing. Chinese will rule the world in any seconds. America is falling apart and Europe is in a crisis, relating to Greece and bunch of things I've read in the sites and papers. Almost everything in this world is Chinese-made. I planned to learn chinese, who knows how long until they finally taken over the world...

P.S. Indonesia is changing to GMT +8? Finally! :)

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