I notice I hadn't left any crap in my blog for a week, probably more. I'm really maximising my time to sleep and rest because I've been so tired lately. School is busy but always great; please do bear in mind that school will always be great. I know I usually say sucky *name of a day* here but at school, everything is right and everything is fun, nothing hurts and everything is smile-worthy. Well, except the bruise Rayhan gave me. Hurts like hell, but the memory made me laugh. Well, not now, because I'm still furious, but maybe later. Have you ever gone back to times that was nauseating; annoying; head-gonna-blow-in-any-seconds-now moments? And realise what thoughts are bouncing in your head singing yada-yada-yada-this-moment-will-ruin-your-life, when you're perfectly fine in the end?
I always gone back to the past (my favourite, top-of-the-list place) and recount my steps. Learning in school is nothing compared to the things you've learned in the past time unconsciously. Trig maybe hard, but if you've been there; overcoming life, it's nothing.
Now, in my mid sixteen year of age, I'm trying to learn to live uncontrollably, jumping and leaping and risking big things. Tattooing (temporary) words on my ribcages and wrists and legs and tell me, God, this is what I call rebel. It's not drinking, it's not cutting, attempting suicide. Reading kinky things out loud, that's rebel. Not bringing a simple task on purpose, not working on a hard task on purpose.
I've been sad most of the time, call me a hypocrite for saying it doesn't hurt; because it hurts. For saying it doesn't matter; because it matters. For saying that you can get it off your mind; because you can't. The only thing you can do is using the pain as a head start on everything. Sports, passion, art, learning a new frikkin language and putting everything towards the future. I'm helplessly young, I have a huge future waiting for me thus I shall not embrace it empty-handed.
Being sad, overly sad, is not in the list of 'Life fearlessly and responsibly'.
You know what is? Speed driving in a heavy rain with rock songs on... But still aware of what's around us. It's so frikkin hard; but it's worth the fun.
(You know I've been saying frikkin as if I'm saying f--kin, even my native teacher looked up his head and said, "What did you just say?" Lol, either I'm good or I'm a freak.)
Happy thoughts: Munich Fashion Style is not that hard to pull out... And effortlessly fit my styling. I know B-W is a long shot from Muenchen but still, the girl is WORRIED and insecure of what to use.
pictures source: styleclicker dot net
New obsession: STOP MOTION! It's not that hard and I've made one. Going to try again soon after the midterms.
(+) Not studying when it's a day (or two?) away to midterms. Off with my mom to some funky exhibition of prints and fabrics! Yada.