Thursday, October 18, 2012

Long gone and moved on.

Well, it's obvious that I had the past off my chest and head. Everything is great now and god forbids me to mess it up. But being so crazily happy and over the heels lately has been too much for me. Well, not exactly too much. Here, I'll describe you my schooldays.

(Past me)
Wake up - school - school - school - EF - sleeping in tears, or
Wake up - school - school - school - gym - sleeping in joy - woken up by tears.

(Now me)
Wake up - smile - smile - laugh - wait, is this school? - EF - sleeping and smiling or
Wake up - smile - smile - laugh - excited - what is school? - gym - sleeping happily.

Don't get me wrong, I like this version. A lot. But it's kind of weird is it? You've been bitter for so long,  almost two years, and suddenly someone came in to your life and just... Erasing the bittery part of your life? It's so relieving and so comforting at heart, but at the same time, I feel like the bitterness is a part of me and losing it means I've lost some parts of me. Well, not a good part anyway but still. I missed the bitter me (the vulnerable writer side of me).


I want to blog about soulmate. I used to be a non-believer. Seriously. I think there's soulmate and there's amish. Lol I'm just kidding. Well... I used to think soulmate is bullshit. There's no such thing as soulmate because I just think that... You have your future someone to spend your time with, you may love him, you may hate him, you might even want to erase everything about him. But that's the person you get to spend your time with, and no, he might not be your soulmate, but who cares. It's either friends, lovers, or nothing.

But as you know. Things happened, people happened. I'm a true believer (lol reading the book right now) now. I guess soulmate is the one who fills your heart when it's empty, empty your thoughts when you're dizzy, not catching you at the end but willing enough to grab your hand and jump in together, no matter what. I guess I could go on forever. Everything feels so natural and suddenly you just realise you can't really live without them. Not without-without because, dude, that would be crazy in my situation. But, it's so effortless and comforting and everything comes so easily, you won't have to worry. Jealous, yes, in my situation lol but I never worry. I'm anxious of what's tomorrow because all I want is another perfect thing. I want the perfect thing, but... It doesn't have to be perfect as long as it's true. And I'm pretty sure it's true. I'm sure.


No comments:

Post a Comment