Monday, October 22, 2012


How I love titling my posts with 'un'.

Unwanted, unrequited.

So I'm almost finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. How quick, I know right. You know it's a good book when you can't really put it down. I read almost 3/4 today and half of the 3/4 in the morning before I went to school. I woke up super early as usual, 4-ish and I read it until it's 5.30. I've learnt a new habit of posting applicable quotes for my condition in the morning, before the initial guten morgen. This morning was about disappointment and how a prince sets off with the wrong princess, leaving the right princess behind and that fairy tales are reason for disappointments. 

I don't think it's true.

As much as I love fairytales and Disney, god I'm a #1 fan for always watching their show or play, I just don't think those stories happened in real life. And my favourite is not Cinderella, moreover Sleeping Beauty (Don't you just think you're so shallow for waiting to be kissed?), it's Beauty and the Beast I value the most.

Aside from the similarity I've found with Belle, with book addictions and having a really weird-conditioned parents, chased by some jerks like Gaston, I feel like that's true love. Not love. True love. You know when you fall for someone, their personality stepped in and all physical features are instantly wiped away? You don't care how good he looks from behind or how adorable he is when he smiles when his messy hair. Or how awful the scores he gets, or his talents, or the fact that he drinks the coffee weirdly. It all gone, straight to the bin. It's the talk you had, the topics, the comments you made along the way. I guess that's the value of a relationship. Just like Belle and the Beast. I'm not saying that you should find a beast, because seriously, now, it's 2012, and any shining armour-knight could turn into the ugliest creature you'll find. What I'm saying if you're seeking true love, the physical matters should not matter and it's the inside that matters. I don't believe in inner beauty, but I believe in soulclicks. Dare you asking, if I wanted true love, I'd say no. You better watch out too, you know, for physical features may cloud your judgement on what's in their heads. I've misjudge people quite often, I'm happy with how they turned out.

Is it a cliche if someone said, Love is enough when in fact, it's not? You need security too, safety, fun. I've loved enough to choose to go unrequited. I don't want to be loved back if I didn't get what I want. There's this funky feeling too of loving someone who doesn't love us. It's like, I maybe nothing to you, but that's what water tasted like and we all need water. I don't need to feel special if the feeling won't last forever. I believe in love, it's just sometimes things happened and people happened and you know what, I feel like I don't want to be loved. Loving is easy, as being loved comes with heavy amount of responsibility. There's a certain beauty too, about unrequited love. Even if it's uncertain, it's the safest choice I can pick right now, and that fact is certain.

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