Friday, October 26, 2012

What is it again?


I know I'm such a negativity sometimes and all I do is complain about everything and I even complained about the sunshine for lacking positivity when the only thing negative is myself. I think I'm in a constant repeat and circumstances of vulnerability right now because seriously, I don't even know what's gotten into me and all I kept doing is picturing my frikkin ugly and unpampered fingers on the keyboard, dancing and typing and the clicky sounds my macbook keyboard makes because that's what so lovely about getting a macbook, like your life revolved around it and you want to either hug/kiss/take them to bed because it owes you so much and you just loved it and you secretly trash that new macbook pro 13" just because they had better display and better core because it means NOTHING.

Have you ever thought of falling out of love? I guess everybody does that but as a diversion, not a goal or a point or something that really matters like wanting a giant pan pizza to yourself. Well here's the thing. There's no such thing as falling out of love. Well, not that instantly. You need a+ amount of time or a+ amount of hatred because just bullsh--ts and trash talking won't cut it. Have you heard something like You either fall in love or you don't? Well that's true. You either fall in love (and love them forever, even though the amount will reduce one place at one time) or you're just feeling what you think was love.

You see, that what-you-think-was-love, is a serious business. I know they're supposed to be a cool vibe of uncertainty in loving a person that they can stop at anytime they want, but don't we wish we knew? Don't we wish we want that little ping or beep or ANYTHING, telling when to stop, when to leave, when to pack up your baggage or unload the rest? Like, you won't have the balls to henna-tattooed your wrist with tiny details of the relationship because you think scribbling the name on notebooks are for loser and twelve year olds. I'd give almost anything to have the kinky signal because in a roller coaster relationship where the fights are accelerated and meant to have highs and lows and loops and hair-touching-the-ground-then-flying-around-from-the-speed kind of love, it's very needy to have such signal don't you think? Your heart is in pieces from being broken too often and you just wished there's someway to kept it broken just the way it is now, not worse, moreover break them into more tiny pieces because love supposed to be sweet, supposed to be beautiful, without question marks because things just have their way to explain themselves in a really functioning way.

Supposed to be.

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