Sunday, November 18, 2012

Missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met.

Don't you just feel sometimes you're... Unpretty? I know I'm unpretty and I lack femininity in all sort of aspects of my life but the only time I feel pretty is at times when I'm curling my eye lashes because that's the only good things I got in me and putting a mascara with glittered pink and purple tube. My hair is a wreck (blabla, yeah I know you got it) and my skin is burnt and I'm short and my body is not toned at all, I'm not skinny, I'm insecure and my self esteem is sh*t. I don't agree to every piece of things in my closet and my specs outgrow me. All of my shoes are ruined and of course good things fall apart in order for better things to come out of cold, and I still can't apply eyeliner let alone attempting a smoky eye. The other things that upset me is that I know you care so much about details and I screwed up every single time because I'm such a sucky-onist. I just wished I'm better and enough for you, because I'm worst every single day and I won't ever be one for you. I know sucky self confidence is such a *thumb down* but this is what everyday feels like; seconds of pure walking insecurity and what hurts the most is that I just want to be special for you. They said, "You tell a girl she's beautiful, she'll believe it for a minute and tell a girl she's horrid, she'll believe it for the rest of her life." I know I'm an exaggerator by heart but I just think that it's true, don't you think. Every girl's self esteem is sh*t until she grows up (and yes, I'm fourteen at heart, blushing on cue and laughs on the corniest joke ever).

I just downloaded Red and it took FOREVER but the twenty-two tracks are here. Haven't give everything a listen, I'm too yawny. Nighty!

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