Daydream in a cup

I feel like I'm holding up. I'm so tired to my bones, I want a day free on holiday but I can't afford it. Sucky. I want to cut my hair (again) and made bangs (again) but then my hair will be super short and I just don't want it to be super short. I want it to grow super fast because this mid length is getting me nowhere:< 

Anywhere. Enough of the hair crap. 

I still miss you and yes, I know I did nothing to show you this. I wish you read my blog posts. I hope you care about me and somehow look for humanity signs of me. I wish you know I peeked between classes, trying to notice everything that changed on you. I hope you know that I'm tired, because I know you looked like one. I wish I know something to do. I hope you notice. I wish I wasn't some kind of stupid fool that actually believe love exists. I hope you know I hate my hair and I wish I could look like me in that photo, now that you do and even though every /seconds /hurts, I'd do almost everything to had that... I don't know, a minute less of continuous sight and knowing that every single second you won't look back on me, and that won't hurt me because looking you one the eyes makes me miss you so damn much but again, i'm in no way capable of showing it when I know I really wanted you to know. 

But even if wishing is a waste of time, even if I never crossed your mind.

&I chose remembering.

Ugh, there goes the wall I've built.