Monday, April 29, 2013

Can't say it (after all we've been through)

Wait. We've been through nothing. Hahahaha. I still can't believe that I'm falling for someone beyond my reach and just feeling them is numbing. Who am I to you? I'm much less than that girl you see everyday, but I'm sure I'm more than acquaintance. I know you know me, but that's it. It's crazy. It's not everyday I get to see you and it's driving me even more insane. And the thing is... I'm doing nothing. I know, it's my choice for not being too crystal and keeping the whole ride for myself, but man. Call me stupid, but this feeling is eating me.

I feel like running away. No, I wish I had never met you. You had me and yes, I'm still wishing I had never met you. It's incredible what one meeting can do, and what it affects the next meeting(s). Was it even my choice that I fell for you? I don't really remember. This insanity has been going on for more than five months now, so what, you can call it love rather than infatuation? I feel so funny, all dizzy and stupid inside just thinking about you. You know one's saying that if you picture it, it might never happen? Yeah, I'm kinda doing it so somehow my brain will get transmissions that It might never happen. That I should stop committing to one feeling and just shoot. Free, be me. Or should I say that I kept shooting myself, hoping for new grounds yet I kept finding myself walking to you? Should I say that I'm just too tired? What's the point of being free if you feel like your feeling is eating yourself? Should I tell you? Should I not? The whole ballad is unnerving and I wish I had a time machine. Or a future vision. So I'd know what to do and what not to do. They also said that love is friendship on fire. I don't even think we're in a thing called 'friendship'.

What if I had never met you? I would still be mellow? I prefer that than this super crazy coaster. Or that sad, tragic ride. I'd take anything but this.

I'd take any ride, but not this.

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