Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Sense of Belonging = ...

So if you saw my instagram post and my filled-with-excitement tweet to a friend a.k.a no other than Hilmi Yusuf, you'd probably know that I fell in to XII IPA-2. Science two, my dream class. I always have wanted to be in Twelve-Science-Two since I got in Bina Insani. Reasons? Because kak Fadia and Imi was a Twelve Science Two. Because it came second. I love everything that came second. I have a thing for runner-ups. 

Wait. That was awkward. We're not talking about love here, right? LOL. 


As excited as I am, I also found out the cold truth the hard way. I have no friend. Like, friend-let's-get-crazy-together-friend. As you know there are eight girls, and everyone has been paired up for good and I don't have to name names, it's obvious like that. Except me and Sarah and we're both in the same place. In eleventh grade I am super comfortable having my bestie by my side. We shared the same thoughts and jokes and YouTube channels. Different taste of music, but it didn't really matter. If I'm lazy, she's lazy. Not super encouraging, though, but it was comfortable. My safe place, inside the box. Don't get me wrong, I love challenges. I just don't like getting my world upside down. Basically, making me #1 no friend gal counts as one.

It's not that big of deal, of course. It's not like I won't see them outside the class. It's not that it's going to be hard working with this class. It's just that I feel like I'm missing something. I have certain people I really wish to be in the same class with and they're not there.

Apart from my stupid feeling of being friendless (funny, there are actual people out there feeling the same way as I am), I really want this year to be a great year. How I am going to survive the year is still a mystery and I want to get to it ASAP. I don't care about the new rules, I have my own principles. As long as I do good, I'll live. This is the last year of high school and I would love to get my taste of it. A year will flew by so quickly, you won't realise it. I really wish my nerve won't kick in badly so I will enjoy the year and be fearless. I have my plans written down with a pen so there's no going back for me. As much as I feel 'man-I-feel-like-I-don't-belong-here', I want my last year amazing and full of memories. 

I hope I know myself enough to release such bold statements.

No comments:

Post a Comment