Typical day is being in bed, occasionally checking things on the internet (in bed), sleeping, drinking overly sweeten tea (from bedside table) and taking meds (in bed). I've became one with my bed and when I step outside today, I nearly fainted because I was so weak. Maybe an exercise around the block and a bit of yoga won't hurt too much.
Bringing 'it' on is actually harder than it looks like. I always have to factor some useless things because that's life; full of useless things and crap that needs to be factored in. And these factors are the ones that's bringing me down. I really wish I have more freedom, more than I have now. I wish I don't have to wear uniform to school or obey the rules. I wish I can wear a pair of studded high top-hidden heels in grey because it bitterly reminds me of someone (+ added height. Like, who in the world would refuse added height? Kobe Bryant? He's like in the 0.00001 %, man). I wish I can be as carefree as I used to and even though I am so close right now, it doesn't feel the same. The pressure is too much. I need to let go some of my stupid pet peeves but it seems too much. Don't we all have excess baggage that should've been thrown away years ago but somehow it's still there. Mine is still creeping on the corners. I guess putting it on the corners is a progress, since it used to be the centre of my world. As much as I try to be sappy, you should know that (even with the sucky circumstances) I am happy. I just bought my dream Nikicio t-shirt and a ticket to see my favourite football team this month. I sing loudly, trying to remember all the lyrics from the movie Despicable Me 2. I washed my hair and clip my nails, eat good things and yummy produce. I daydream a lot and thankfully a lot of it has came true. I am happy, I'm just in a bad place.