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Reflection

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.  

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior. 

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship. 

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. 

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. 

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. 

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working. 

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. 

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I did a funky, personality tests again. I love taking these. I guess as much as you, living your life and doing things the way you like it, being yourself and all that kind of shit, you never truly know who you are. I self-proclaimed myself a lot of times but then again, is it really me I'm proclaiming? If I had a shrink, she (no, believe me. It'll be a she even though I have a bit of a hard time trusting woman) will tell me I have a lot going on under my conscious because I do. I stress about bit of things that doesn't need to be stressed at all but apparently my subconscious can't handle me.

Take the test here.

I am currently; studying PAI, filling in my history task sheet, doing a lot of research and kepo-ing on my favourite subject ever, sock curling my hair, munching on dried nuts and semi sweet chocolate chips, trying to get a life by watching Arden Rose's Fall Haul and lust over her gorgeous face. 

Violate my privacy

• 1. Did you wake up cranky?

Lol always.

• 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Yes. I'm seventeen!

• 3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Both are kinda the same but I trust boys more when it comes to 'friends'. My best friends are all girls. 

• 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

No. Constant bitchface. I won't even smile for people who know me.

• 5. Can you commit to one person?

That I can do.

• 6. How do you look right now?

A hot mess.

• 7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Short boxers and the thin men shirts they sold in packages. Best. Baju Rumah. Ever.

• 8. How often do you listen to music?

Every day, to and from school. 

• 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

I wear shorts a lot. But if I had to choose it'll be... Jeans.

• 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?

Nope. The big change is in 2014.

• 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

An introverted social person. I mean, I love being alone but I still have friends.

• 12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

So what?

• 13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean...

• 14. Can you drive a stick shift?

OF COURSE IT'S THE BEST DRIVING METHOD EVER.

• 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Nope.

• 16. Are you going out of town soon?

Nope.

• 17. When was the last time you cried?

I can't remember I'm too lousy.

• 18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Who haven't?

• 19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Yes. Violet please.

• 20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Tuition. I have a math class.

• 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

SWEAT. The fact that I actually worked it out on Krida Day is unnerving.

• 22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

I love my boy best friends; they're the bomb. They always got my back and they smell good.

• 23. Are you nice to everyone?

HAHAHAHAHA NO WAY.

• 24. What are you sitting on right now?

My bed.

• 25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Of course. 

• 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

This is really violating my privacy... Hahahahaha.

• 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Kak Fadia.

• 28. Do you get a lot of colds?

I get tired but so far, no colds!

• 29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

God no way.

• 30. Does anyone hate you?

I guess. It's a plague.

• 31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Of course.

• 32. Do you like watching scary movies?

No way.

• 33. Are you a jealous person?

Kind of but I'm working on it.

• 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

None. Live with no regret!

• 35. Did you have a dream last night?

Full on black.

• 36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Same one on number #31 plus a few girls best friend. But yeah, I kinda come back to #31.

• 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Good heavens. My plan is to go fast or to go very very slow. Marriage is scary and creepy and all the halloween things rolled into one. 

• 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Um, yeah, my mom loves me to the core.

• 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I hope not.

• 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

YES. Yesterday was perfect, thanks to the scoop of ice cream I bought.

• 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

No.

• 42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Nope, but it's so much better:)

• 43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Movies and air-popped popcorns.

• 44. What’s the best part about school?

Friends you made, memories you made, experiences you tried.

• 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

What kind of question is this.

• 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

This is so me, circa 2003.

• 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Best trips you've made are the ones that went down in memory lanes.

• 48. Were you single over the last summer?

I'm single for the last three years! Can't believe I'm saying that out loud.

• 49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Tasks and ice cream.

• 50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

Not for me but he is a real keeper.

Squeeze

I just don't get it BUT my hair is at its best when I am at home, when no one is looking, when I had my worst attire, while I am eating chips with a jar of hummus.

Life is so mean sometimes?

Anyway. I'm here to rant about my tiredness. Because all I've been is tired. All I've felt is tired. I just think my day is too long and I don't want to get out of home for seven days but then I'd miss a lot of shit not going to school. I don't know. I actually don't mind going to school at all. I love school, I love my class, I love my classmates and the crazy schedule and the early morning classes even though it's super duper exhausting. I hate commuting. I hate waiting for my bus, I hate getting home so late just because my transportation home is not 24/7, and I hate how I'm still afraid to drive.

I mean. I drive a lot at home. The road is kinda mine. But with the amount of traffic and other people in the road, this kid right here could be a murderer. I never speed actually, I'm terribly slow. But sometimes I kinda forgot that I'm not alone in the road, so...

A murderer? It's a possibility.

My drowsiness and weariness aside, my senior year has been great. I didn't have my haircut yet but my range of cooking skills for my lunchpack has widen. I didn't paint my nails because the only thing that got colourful is my notes. My classmates have been nothing but a pleasure to have and one of my favourite people on earth is in the class with me, so... It's been nothing but fun. Idem to my P3A (or additional obligational classes we took every Tue, Thu (6.15 to 7.15) and Fri (14.15-15.15). I'm just hoping I will do exceptional job on try outs (and my favourite people as well) so we'll somehow end up in one class and continue to have more fun.

If you're gonna preach me on having too much fun when all I should've done is studying... Then trust me, a. You don't know how amazing my surroundings are and b. You don't know what my priorities are.

See you when my coconut yogurt is ready!

(It kinda sounds disgusting, is it? Ergh. I've ran out of ideas)

Futsal!

Ok I might be kind of late since other school blogger (that's you, Rin and Biw) already did this activity during sport and my class is kinda late.

A week late.

No worries.

At first I was scared by the idea of playing futsal (mini football? It's like football but it's played by 5 people only and the rules is kinda the same. Except there's no offside otherwise we'll never score a goal) because let's face it. I'm proud as an ADHD kid and I'm not ashamed of it, but the motor aspect of an ADHD kid is soooo bad and in playing futsal I have to maintain two thing I suck the most; balance and precision. So my first thought was; hell yeah, I'm getting Fernando Torres as a nickname because I can't score. Well, Torres can, but he scores when he want. I can't control that, I just can't score. Torres 1 - 0 Brina.

At first we have to do the cool warmups I've seen in pictures of Chelsea FC training. I feel awesome doing that because I'm doing what the legends did. It contains several moves like jumps and runs and cool things in between.

Then the sun got too funky and it's actually really hot outside, so the girls took the first match and I kinda forgot who's on the team. Hehe.

(Hanan if you're reading this, I'm sorry if I kinda forgot but was it you on the first team?!! HAHAHA LOVE YOU NAN)

All I remember is it was really hot, I was running, I was trying to score and my teammates were AWESOME because we got a cool defender and Hanan and Lina was continuously creating chances for us to score (which I ruined always, d'uh) and Ega and Sarah was clearly A+ keepers. Sarah got a new nick; Sarah Cech!:)) clean sheet baby.

But then I got the ball and the defence line was empty and the next thing I know, I scored. I scored. 1-0 for XII IPA-2, BUT it was pure luck. XII IPS' keeper caught the ball inside the goal line so I scored.

Who cares,
I SCORED.

I was so happy but keeping it on the inside because I wanted to look cool and act "lol-whatever-it's-no-big-deal" all over my crappy face, burnt and hot all over.

It was so awesome. I feel like doing it again every week. At the end, we won for 3-1 during penalty.

Now, my feet kinda hurt.

A little bit. It's no big deal.

Twelve.

The last year.

The last sight of a piece of the big puzzle.

The last reminder that nothing lasts forever.

The last euphoria of finding your classmates.

The last tears you shed when your heart is broken.

The last chance to make it right, proof them wrong, and start all over again.

Twelve seems so small, yet so big.

It's like a tree and its roots is diving for depth in your body.

It's like a song and and the words got stuck in your brain.

Each memories are tattooed black in your cerebellum,

running down freely all over the strands of your long hair,

tickling down softly on the peaks of your vertebrae.

Two down, seven to go.

Our steps are marked and the future is waiting.

And for each night, the day unfolds.

And for each folds, a dream ends.

And for an end, I wish the reality to follow,

giving you a soft tap on your shoulder and whispers

"congratulations, your dreams came true."