Tuesday, August 13, 2013

scientific character of me. BLAH right.

(This is more spot on than the numbers one (I'm number one). Myers-Briggs is awesome for making this thing)

One of my weird things are that I love being defined. I love being told who I am and then disagree to it. To be quite honest, I don't need defining tests or defining answers from people because I already know what's best for me and what's bad for me. I think that is such an advantage in early pre-adult years because truthfully, there's a lot going on and just deciding what you want is hard enough, needless to decide what you need. I see a lot of my friends in this stage too, but some just can't decide what they want, what they need, what they capable of.

Anyway. This is still fun to talk about because it's basically me. I didn't take the advance test yet I'm already very happy with the result so might as well begin.

So basically, INTJs are people who fit 'the scientist' role the most. But me, being fucked-up ADHD kid have the right to disagree. I'm terrible at doing one thing at once because my mind is constantly splitting and wanting to try something new. However, the precise doing and the highly organised characters of INTJs (a.k.a. OCD if you ask me) put the people in 'the scientist' mode.

Scientists are often reserved, closed, unapproachable. Not a team player, rather a leader but if they find the right partner, they surrender. They see big pictures, big plans, big dreams. 

I am (kinda) definitely that.

If you ask me, I prefer to be defined as ambivert because I am not bad at social situations. Well, sometimes I become impulsive and kinda hurting people around me but I'm not bad at social situations, though if you ask me, I like being an introvert. I don't mean, I'm a complete loner with 0 best friends. I have best friends, and they are definitely countable. I have my list of favourite people, but I can't lie, not every person in that list is my best friend. Being an introvert plays a big part on my way of life (idealist all the way) because introverts just notice. 

(I know! I know! I'm typing all the big words around here. I'm in a repair mode because I've been hurt bad enough and I just want to breathe again. You can quit now though because it is going to be a long post to relieve me. Hurry press ctrl+w)

My kind of day is sitting alone in my coffee shop, reading and listening to music and observe people and judging them.

Next. Intuition (over sensing). I have my gut. I make huge, stupid, big, hard to get out mistakes. That's my ADHD kicking in. Have you ever have that sound in your head that just say... Either a verse of "go for it!" or "lol get out you'll regret this"? I have that a lot. I guess it's my intuition? I rarely took decisions over matters and just jump in. Yep. Jumping in is my kind of decision making course of action, hence the big, fat, stupid mistake. I'm that kind of girl that's just... Easy going but not that easy too. I don't know. I'm very complicated. Some people also said I'm the most insensitive person they knew. I rarely think about people's feeling and tend to be self-centred. I walk around with a really big ego here. 

Thinking... Over feeling. YES. DEFINITELY. I over think things way too much. I sometimes put my feeling aside because I think that will mess my judgement over things. Like, it will become biased or something. Over thinking took me to (a bit!) of depression too, when I read the symptoms. I've been feeling really down lately, I lost my appetite. I just feel I'm unworthy to be in this world and believe me, this is not me. I'm that kind of cheery person but then again there's this theory that if you're too cheery, that means you're masking something inside. I don't know. I might. I am having hard time to sleep nowadays and my mood is a train wreck. I guess being a slight OCD plays a part on this too. I want everything to be the way it supposed to be (not perfect. I must say I'm nothing close to a perfectionist) and now, it's not and it's unrepairable. I hope this is a temporary situation though, because if this is permanent I don't know what I will do next.

Last, judgements rather than perceive. I've said several of this word. I just judge people, and I judge mean. In the other hand, I'm an open minded person too. Well, at least I hope I am. I'm not that kind of person that said... "Well, if he's A, he's A forever." I believe in second, third, forth chances, probably more. Change is highly applicable and it is the only constant thing in the world. At one point in your life, you can be the cruelest person in the world but after a while, it may soften and change you forever. Who knows? I like the dynamics of people because that's what people should be; a dynamic creature that changes occasionally but still held his/her principal on the ground.

As in romance, it is said that romance is the achilles heel for INTJs. Reading them chuckles me because as much as i hate to say this, I am very logical when it comes to things with feelings. E.g. Driving. I will be a really good racer because I don't really care what's going on outside... When I should. I always feel like I'm the right person in the relationship because men are from mars and women are always right. I don't believe my fifth strength is a strength though, but yeah. Nailed it in that department. I tend to be like that. Tend. I make exceptions too.

Friendship... I don't think I'm that hard to get close to, but I have 'bases'. Like, at some points, I will be comfortable to talk about things I never told people before. AND YES. I'm a snob. So vain.

Career options... There are several I like and one of my dream job is in the list, so, yep. I'm quite happy.

Ugh I'm tired. It's 3 a.m.

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