Working and staying

Perks of having a swolemate: you have no reason to quit. I've been working out regularly for almost a month now. Working out regularly as in slipping 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of lifting everyday, eating clean, thinking positive and surrounding myself with so much love and support so it would feel less tiring. I am also filling my schedule really tight, with only three free days a week so I wouldn't even have time to think about problems that I should not even have to deal with at the first place. I am definitely better than yesterday... I'm juggling a lot of things at once and I love the feel of it. My feeling that this year is going to end great is actually happening...

Anyway.

I feel like my studying intensity has cranked up a little bit high since I'm maintaining knowledge from both subjects. Each and every day, the desire to stay actually grows and all I've done is nothing but serving it a big amount of care and support. It's not that I don't want to leave... I feel better staying. I think this is the first time I'm sharing this thought out loud, because I've had so many question from others and what ifs from me, along the journey. What if I can't deal with a minus ten degrees? What if it's too scary and it's a handful to handle? What if I missed my Mom? What if I'm not supposed to go there, I mean, dear God Almighty can you show me something? What's more funny is that I factor 'friend' waaayyyy too often during situations, like will it hurt my friendship with A or am I still going to reach B quite easily when on the contrary, my friends are moving to every part of the world. I could just imagine how much fun and experience they will go through, and that my reasons of staying may seem a little bit scared and paranoid, but I actually want to stay...

Only for the first two or three years, though. But I guess that decision is final.

I want me to stay.