So I stumbled across tumblr and found this:
Please do not feed the fears
I think like I know it all, but I know I'm feeding my fears. My fears are nothing but obese contextual things that lived only in my mind, and they're ready to gain more weight.
I'm not going to stop feeding them because fear is the thing that drives me right now. I'm a tangled strands of an obese fear. My list of fear is never ending lines and that includes things that super obvious but never was in my eyes because the fears are blocking my sight. My list includes things that are super impossible and never gonna happen, but the what ifs in my brain are making up excuses and scenarios on how will it happen, when will it happen, and how will I feel when it happen. My list includes a list of songs in the past with the memories with it. My list includes people. My list includes tragedies, and the repetition of it. My list includes my past, my present, and my future, written in big capitals, followed by a how-to guide to ruined them, since I'm a professional in ruining things uncontrollably.
I am so afraid. I can't stop feeding my fears, they'll eat me.