Wordful but typeless

I had sentences running down my brain to my spines to my everything but I lost it all. Maybe I'm just tired.

I finished reading One Day by David Nicholls. Can't wait to seek for the movie and watch it, and die a little more. It's basically my life on 70 gsm, fabric bounded and covered by some pretty cover. And yes, it's a heart breaking ones. The one with love that needs twelve years to realise that it's real. she's the one I've been looking for and for all these years book. It's beautiful. It's filled with satire, comedy, laughs, love, contradictions as complicated as ever and it's just beautiful. I don't know. Some paragraphs (that I'm definitely going to quote somewhere after the madness ends) are just so me, and I see myself as Emma Morley. At first, my life may not work out but soon, I'd live in a city that I really love and every breath will be effortless, every money I spent will be worthy and every liquid I sipped will be yummy. I love rhyming things.

 Because Chelsea, Chelsea is our name.

No fouls! #RESPECT for Insan Kamil and Ummul Quro who was playing that day.

Yeah, it's for you, Biw:p

Rain. Ef. Not a good combination.

TODAY IS FUN. Yay I (think) I aced my chem test, but what the hell I always think things and it will fall apart in a way that I don't want it to be. Freak. I made, like, stupid little tray with pizza and (what supposed to be) steak and veggies but it kinda looked like bread so I'd stick with bread (with tiny bits of veggie on the side because I'm a hipster and I eat veggies. Lol. Jk. I got a list of books to buy as usual and the top of the list is:

Ugh I'm so mellow. Ew mellow. But yay mellow because my galauness output is quite good to be frank but I don't like to be cocky but I do and enough with this but things. I miss reading Fifty Shades because I miss having Christian on my dreams side aside with Erandhi and now it's just Erandhi. Now playing: Lana's Dark Paradise. Anyway the book supposed to be amazing and I just wish I have a paypal account (so I could buy books on amazon dot com like a boss).

NERD ALERT! I'm having a crush on Joseph Vincent just because he's Joseph Vincent. His sleeve tattoo is nothing like scary or preman kampung at any point so yay! You had me at tattoo, J.V.

Let's just pray for a minute so my inner romantic mellow freak is strong enough to finish my words to you. Yes. Erandhi-you.

H&R: Dear John

The problem with time, I've learned, whether it's those first two weeks I got to spend with you, or the final two months I got to spend with Tim, eventually time always runs out. I have no idea where you are out there in the world, John. But I understand that I lost the right to know there things long ago. No matter how many years go by, I know one thing to be as true as ever was - I'll see you soon then.

 I love both, you know. Both movie and novel. I can tell you that it's different though, very different. You should see (or read) it to yourself but here's a piece of my mind: Do you like a fantasy happy ending, or relatable yet it's a heart breaking ending?

That's what I like about reading and watching Dear John. The endings are different and I get to choose which I want to cry to in the end. As for Nicholas Sparks books, I always skip the ending. It's way too overrated. I skipped Dear John, I skipped The Notebook, I skipped True Believer. I know I had to know about it somewhere, reading it online or hearing a friend talking about it. But as for me, when the pages getting thin and I'm screwed just by holding the book with one hand without making it flip over and close, I closed the book. The end. All I know is they're still miserable, or they're still in love, or they're in the middle on something I don't know. This is such a bad habit to do as doing something and left them unfinished could spread out to another things like... Not finishing a meal or leaving a mess after the photoshoots I always have hehehe. But I know one thing about Nicholas Sparks' novel. It's always a bit unrealistic at some point, but you know you find so much mutuality in the characters and the decisions or the action they're having. It's like, Oh! This thing is practically impossible to be in a real life, this is such a fiction! and during your initial eye switch on the next page, you'll go O!M!G! I know the feeling, it's starting to feel real! thingies. The movies too. You can go smiling, making up scenarios in your head, going I can do that with him! and How sweet of John to do so, I wish I have someone to make me feel like Savannah but you'll cry and dwell on your pillow once the good scenes are over. It's such a roller coaster to experience. I know I'm not a very... Fond of roller coasters (especially if they're made out of woods, ouch!) and all the surprising, scary acts on movies and ghost houses and everything, but I'd take the emotional roller coaster I got while reading books. So far I only got emotional roller coasters when I'm reading a book. Hmm...

P.S. I hope I didn't grow up like Savannah, I mean... She loves someone but had to marry the other? I planned to marry young now, somewhere around twenty four to twenty six, but still have a career and university going on. I'm a sucker for my one and only marriage. And don't forget the two boys, woot!

Virginia Woolf once said,

"A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction."

Currently reading one of her work; Mrs. Dalloway.

I am a firm believer on her saying, that “Books are the mirrors of the soul.” It's true. If one said, it's the eating, or it's the eyes, or it's behavior and words, I'd said the books they're reading. And reading Virginia Woolf's novel, is a dead stare in the mirror. A dead stare into the cliff. 

In books, I find different version of me strolling down the rusty pages, exploring the syntax and the choice of words the Author used.

When I'm Jane Austen kind of girl, I picture me as a simple, village girl that worries too much of not finding a husband in time; or chasing down a big love on a cold stone statue. I was strolling around in England, wearing sweet pastel gowns and round hats, getting ready to go to the dance. Then I get to have my version of Mr. Darcy.

Then I get to read the most pop book ever, Cecily von Ziegesar's Gossip Girl; I watched the TV-show first. I was Blair Waldorf, pushing people to swept dirt off my stilettos and screaming the maid name's just because my tea isn't hot enough. I went out with Dan Humphrey, my version, to Brooklyn and watch the most prettiest and most amazing paintings. Went photo camping at the Central Park and saw Broadway live, with Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel on stage. Then I'm enjoying a glass of chardonnay, accompanied by a plate of escargot and trio of lamb. I use the most fabulous gowns and I wear the most sick shoes ever made.

My favorite... was reading Dear John. I'm Savannah, whose boyfriend is in the middle of the war. Dangerous, risky, sad, heartbreaking. And in the end, I marry someone else. Someone I don't love, but someone who needs me. I dealt with horse poo and autism kid, built a house and being kissed in the rain; Places, conditions I never have been in before, but was so believable that I'm always biased in the end of the book.

And reading Virginia Woolf, I'd say I won't fill my pockets with stones and run away to the nearest lake.

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

Free days, at last.

So... the 6th until the 9th, 10th and 11th graders in my school are dismissed from school for good, because the 12th graders is having their try outs of the national examination. Freaky, I'll say. I know I just done that a year ago, but in two years, that daunting things will come again to haunt me. Freaky.

In this days, I decided to pack up my schedule pretty tight. At the 6th, I went to school for student council meeting; we're going to have our second event (first was classmeeting), and went to the gym until 3pm. I got home and watched the second season of 'The Nanny'. I went to bed early (as usual).

7th. I went to school to finish up some homeworks with Hilmi, Rina, Abiw, and other anak OSIS like Maul, Sasa Ega, Asti, Oka, plus Alif and Rayhan (but they didn't joined us for discussion so...). Kamal was there but he went everywhere. After that I didn't go to the gym, but I watched America's Next Top Model cycle 4; I know, way back in Naima's season. I love the fact Naima won, because she's been so amazing since day one!:p

Oh, I received a bad news from my friend, her mother passed away because of the sickness she had been into. Dhea, please be strong as ever, we're here to give endless support to you.

8th; today. I supposed to go to Dhea's mom funeral but I fell asleep to soon the night before (as usual) so I don't know the schedule and everything. I feel so stupid for sleeping a lot. At 12pm we went to Botanical Garden to find some foreigners and we found two! Both of them are scientist from Switzerland and I'm really grateful to God because, the foreigners cannot be better than these two.

9th. Tomorrow. I'm still looking forward to it.

Btw, my holiday book is Kafka's The Metamorphosis and Winna Efendi's Unforgettable. I read Unforgettable quite thoroughly because the style of writing is very new for me! There's no quote unquote and no passive voice. It's a great experience to read something new, something with twisty dialog and giving so much love and thought again for reading.

P.S. I added a new song in the playlist; give it a listen!:)

I smelt like honey and milk

and frustrated as ever. I'm currently reading Til' We Meet Again by Yoana Dianika. I haven't quite finish but I found early cliche-ness about the storyline, a dead mother and a loving father with a girl only child, but we'll see. I also a fan of Rain Chudori, an eighteen years old girl who wrote the best stuff on earth, ever. I saw her on the anniversary issue of NYLON, found the twitter, traced her work, sleuth her blog, et cetera et cetera.

One of her best work for me is Blue. I feel the same satire and irony in the words twisting business. I love her to death, that's it.

Btw, a photo of me when I'm basically a baby.

Rumah Darmo. Now it's renovated and things had been changed. I want to be young again.

My first birthday. I want my seventeenth birthday cake to be exactly like this one.

I know I'm nowhere close 17, moreover 26 or 48 but... I'd love to be a baby again who's learning colors, not calculating sick angles on reflections and using the logic to Calculus.

P.S. You gave me butterflies please stop.

There's not much going on

I'm just finishing my second holiday book, Sweet Little Lies by Lauren Conrad. I always hated Madison, don't you think. And I always picture her as one of the Bridal Plasty reality show, Jenessa. Hahahaha she's such a bitch in the show and I finished the show not long before I read the book, so the image kinda stuck. I imagine Scarlett as Scarlett Johansson but the brunette version..... Jane as a really sweet blonde girl, I cannot seem to channel her to anyone and Gaby to Heather Morris. Hahahahahaha I'm a very visual person so as I read I always imagine the people in their real situation. I kinda told you I'm going to taste Starbucks' new drink, the Black Sesame Green Tea Frappucinno but I didn't have much time yesterday (of course, the bus has pulled up then) so I just go straight for my bus cos I didn't really feel about waiting for another hour.

Anyway, JFF...

1. Height: 5' 4"
2. Shoe Size: 8
3. Sexual Orientation: Straight. But I'm so curious how it feels to be gay.
4. Do you Smoke? I'm basically allergic to cigarettes
5. Do you Drink? Water? yes. Milk? allergic. Coffee? YES YES YES. Others?? Not so much.
6. Do you Take Drugs? When I got sick, yes.
7. Age you get mistaken for: 24!!!!!!! I'm FIFTEEN.
8. Have Tattoos? Nope.
9. Want any tattoos? Yes but it's illegal for a muslim to have one.
10. Got any Piercings? Yes, on ears
11. Want any piercings? Mine's enough.
12. Best friend? 3 PERSON WHOM I LOVE VERY DEARLY
13. Relationship status: Single!
14. Biggest turn ons: Geeky guy and thin crusted pizzas
15. Biggest turn offs: JERKS, and Foie Gras.
16. Favorite Movie: Funny Face.
17. I’ll love you if: You have so much differences with me, yet we're still two peas in a pod.
18. Someone you miss: My grandfathers.
19. Most traumatic experience: Breakups. Divorce. Seperating from people you love.
20. A fact about your personality: Sassy.
21. What I hate most about myself: My appearance
22. What I love most about myself: My devotion to life.
23. What I want to be when I get older: A pediatrician or a petroleum engineer.
24. My relationship with my sibling(s): very well, with the fact they are my step siblings
25. My relationship with my parents: SUPER AWESOME.
26. My idea of a perfect date: Darren Criss. nuf said,
27. My biggest pet peeves: Fashion victims. Wearing ugly clothes.
28. A description of the girl/boy I like: Glasses+Guitar+Nice personality+crooked smile.
29. A description of the person I dislike the most: Boyfriend stealer.
30. A reason I’ve lied to a friend: Because the truth is ugly.
31. What I hate the most about school: The people in it. Super judgmental.
32. What my last text message says: "Gajadi tp kayanya"
33. What words upset me the most: I never loved you ever.
34. What words make me the best about myself: You can take the world down
35. A wish that I’ve wished for repeatedly on 11:11 being happy
36. What I find attractive in boys. Crooked smile!!!
37. Where I would like to live. NYC
38. One of my insecurities. My face
39. My childhood career choice. I cannot seem to remember, I'm a train wreck when I'm a little.
40. My favorite ice cream. Cotton Candy
41. Who I wish I could be. Serena van der Woodsen
42. Where I want to be right now. NYC
43. The last thing I ate. Maicih Chips. Hahahaha
44. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately. Darren Criss. Ah.
45. A random fact about anything. Why buy things on sale when you can afford them in regular price?