Class Meeting ends! Ciat!

So... Under conscious I've taken... nearly two thousand photos and I'm so dizzy looking at it now. Ugh, it happens. Going to spend a lot of time in the weekend sorting them out and uploading it to facebook. And I have to upload the graduation photos, too. It's not the exhaustion during the event but the laziness that follows, ya? :)) Anyway I'm sure I'm going to have a sucky sucky holiday because I'm not going anywhere but homeeee and Bogor and working my butt off in order to get even more skinnier. I've lost 5 kgs so far and I still want to lose more! Now I know why I'm such a skinny girl during year 8; losing weight is addicting. And I supposed to be all nervous and stuff because it's the decision time whether I'm a science kid or a social kid. I really have no clue what so ever, because my heart is in social but my brain is in science. I strive for physics and learning chemistry a bit better than I did this year. I like social subjects because it's less tiring but who wants to be not tired? Call me psycho but I love the desperate feeling of wanting to sleep more, and the pleasant butterflies when you finished a really hard thing, or completing a set of insane homeworks that I won't be using in the future because I'm applying to business school. And for sure, I'm really upset that this academic year is ending. I know I have a line up list of reasons why I hate this year so much but a thousand other reason is making me admit that this year is kinda fun too. It's memorable at some point, I met some fabulous friends (gengless, kak fadia, nuf said) and freak geniuses. I joined OSIS, take a lot of pictures, drank so much fruit tea during recess, made more friends, joined EF, quitting ballet. A lot of thing going through my mind, capturing old memories and stupid conversation that I've had. 

And no, I don't want this /academic/ year to end. Forever tenth grade:))

I'm up and running

So after a while of redesigning the blog and the header and the colour and my link buttons, I think that's it! We're up and running. I did everything on polyvore, so, bravo polyvore! Even though I had troubles looking for the skittles and the twizzler. I wanted to add a bottle of stoli and a mint leaf on my 'Site's Queen' button, but I had to clip the pic first and everything, so... Yes, I'm lazy.

I did a 'red' blog because of my love for red lips (and my red lipstick, Make Up Forever Moulin Rouge, best buy, I tell you!) and 90% of my successful make up photoshoot include this smacking colour of awesomeness. My favourite nail polish is also red, O.P.I's Big Apple Red. I used it often and it became another signature. 

A little happiness:

This is my 9D class doodle, made by me! Note that the 9D Alif is different with X4 Alif, but 9D Maul and Brina are the same with X4 Maul and Brina.

This is the X4 class doodle, made by the ever talented Mawla. It's weird, shrinking amount from thirty two to twenty one (minus two, sigh). 

I had another dream about you, and this time is creepier! I guess it's the projection of things I don't want to imagine and I don't want to swallow. 

Song of the moment: She's Got You High by Mumm-ra.

He's got you high and you don't even know yet......

When we die, we will turn into songs, and we will hear each other and remember each other.

So, a friend of mine, Feby Wulandari had an accident at last Saturday and her condition is critical ever since. She done a surgery, a major one, and it was successful. But she's getting worse every single day and this morning at 9a.m. she passed away. I still can't believe that she's gone, like, she's not going to be there again, every single morning, unlocking her locker and carrying books. I had goodbyes but I never had this particular one before. I know death is impossible to reject but I wish she had live longer. The amount of tears I took out and the massive headache I'm going to get will not pass the pain of losing a friend. Yes, I'm not all so-close-we-know-each-other-secrets with her, but she's the sun in the class, the motivation when we're down. And her locker door is impeccable. She has the most determination to go through anything.

I know fate and wants could be super contradicting, as I watch her body lay on the floor, helpless. I want her to smile, to enjoy the fresh air and the humming birds, but I can't. I didn't have enough guts to see her being buried, and yes, I may not cry the hardest but my heart just shook off when I see flowers sprinkled in her yard. My knee turns to jelly. And I wish Allah heard every prayer that we sent for her, and guide her along the way back.

Oh dear, I'll miss you quite terribly.

03/02/1996-09/05/2012

Feby Wulandari

You'll continue to live in our hearts.

"Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of s/he lived and how s/he died that distinguish one man from another" Ernest Hemingway

Then, you'll be distinguished as a special one, By.

Ten four, we got a ten four around here

Ten-four is a CB radio term that means "message acknowledged."

But my version of 10-4 here is more special, more...... Awesome. I know I may went head over heels with you guys and I know how my laugh can be a burden (I hate them too, but, what can I do?), also how I can be very anxious with myself and things surrounding me. But here's the thing, you guys have earned a special place in my heart, crazy special for those who really make it. Like what Icha did, I'm going to post a brief description of people in the asylum/classroom, and I'm going to use some bahasa, yay! Btw, unlike Icha, my version is more... serious? He he I can't be funny.

Alifandi Achmad Gardadien. The bully, the evermore #ReseMastermind. You've been nothing but pain everytime I'm in class, in OSBI meetings too. And you're more noisy than me. Well. You could be. And don't engage people to bully me, just because you think it's worth smiling for.

Alifia Nur Utami Firmansyah. Si jago gambar yang kalo gambar rambut selalu f l a w l e s s.

Aris Hardianto. Nggak kenal sama sekali sebenernya, kayanya juga dia nggak pernah sebut 'Brina' ataupun apapun menyangkut aku....

Basyarayni Mawla Fatha. Dia baik banget! Pecinta Nyam Nyam Rice Crispy. Gambarnya bagus, tapi suka nggak pede. Si nggak teliti. HAAH??? JAAARRRUUUUKKKKK???

Carin Adharani. Ayn-ku sayang, Ayn-ku cinta♡ Apa artinya hari kalo nggak ada Ayn? Temen tebak tebakan anak gaul, temen "Eh ayn kamu kenal sama *isi nama disini* kannn???"

Farah Anisati Bariz. Lucu banget, kesayangan dari semua anak X4. Kalo ketawa sampe sujud, guling guling, tapi lima belas menit kemudian galau-_- Nggak kaya papan gilesan kok, soalnya kalo itu kan serem, bergerigi gitu....

Feby Wulandari. Sekalinya niat, dikerjain bener bener. Sekalinya gak niat... Disentuh pun enggak. Ya kan bi? :p

Hanifah Husein. Melayu thai-ku♡ Tumblr FAMOUS. 3k+ followers, and keep growing. Businesswoman jualan teh, ya nggak ann? :D

Ken Aully. Ini nih cs-nya Alif bikin aku sengsara dikelas. Baunya nyebar kemana mana, radius 5 m udah kecium. Kalo abis main bola, kaya abis kecebur kolam..........

Maulida Aulia Rezki. Si hamsternya cokiber x4+amel. Temenan tiga tahun bikin aku bisa gue-lu dan ceplas ceplos gila-gilaan sama dia. Kalo dia udah teriak teriak...... Bawaannya pengen kubur dalem lubang saking bikin pusingnya. Lebih riweh daripada aku, tapi anehnya nggak pernah dibully.... Mungkin aku harus punya pacar anak kelas dua belas juga.

Muhammad Novaldi. Udah berapa kali postpone, val?

Muhammad Naufal Mauludy. Lupa? O gitu ya? Guys, anything else? *clap*

Nashsharino Rudino. Deketnya sama Rifqi nggak wajar. Beneran deh. Tapi mirip, jadi kaya kembar beda ibu sm bapak. Suka aneh, kadang baik, kadang rese.

Nisrina Ulfah Budhyono. Si galaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooo yang jonathan. Kalo udah ketawa bareng rina+Icha, nggak bisa berenti, sampe nangis. Seru diajak sekelompok bareng, hampir semua pelajaran!:)

Nuriah Ulfah. Cantik, pake kerudungnya rapi banget. Aku terinspirasi loh.

Rifqi Fadhil Ekaputra. Si poetic. Kalo udah ngegombal nggak ada berhentinya, sok-sok anti galau padahal udah kaya makan aja galau, 3x sehari. Hasilnya? Puisi gombalan yang entah kenapa selalu ada kata bola salju-nya.

Rizky Fauziah. Kika si idaman cowok cowok! Sekelompok sama Kika juga seru, bisa diajak kerja sama banget. Semua semua pink!

Rosyidah Putri. Sering nggak masuk, apalagi hari Rabu. Inget banget dulu pernah jatuh sampe berdarah darah +roknya sobek....

And me, as the last person on earth. If I'd describe myself, I'd say I'm a very bawel person, and I'm a peace lover. 

Mwah X4!!!!!!!!!!! much xoxoxosss

They said I need to change

So I change. For a straight 20 minutes? I yelled at them, I cursed, I gave them my middle finger, and I cursed them some more. I never feel so low in my entire life.

Here's the thing. My mother always taught me to be nice to everyone, to gave one more chance to everyone, to not hate and to spread vanilla scented covered-dipped in chocolate-happiness. I was not born to curse, to hate people, to be bad, to rebel. I was born to accept any kind of truth and facts with positivity because that's what's human nature is; being positive. I was never an ordinary choose you'll find out of ten person. I have my quirks, and one of my quirks is being positive.

But when it fails, I always cry. I know that crying is not really positive, it reeks negativity. I remembered when I was younger, every time I cry, my mother would be even more mad. And yet, that is what I always do when I can't be more positive. Well, too much electron will release some, right? And this time, this particular year, has been nothing but negativity for me. I always ended up crying everyday, and I'm having a hard time being positive. I try to smile a lot when I'm around this negativity but, yes, I ended up crying. I guess I'm not positive enough to release smiles?

I'm turning sixteen in a few months, and I want my sixteen to be different. I want to be able to say gue-lu without feeling less positive, nor guilty, I want to be mad and bold, being taken seriously. I want to grow up, be the person with less quirkiness and yet, still me. I know it's a major change because, it's almost everything against what my mother taught me (to be positive, and just that). Until I could change a few habit of mine, I'd say...

Btw Icha, your description? Priceless!! 

"Brina, fashionista, suka dibully sama Alif & Ken, suka berisik juga, ketawanya khas (kunti aja lewat~) suka Darren Criss"

Football Game

It's half time and I don't know which side to cheer on. But I'll just... Cheer on the winning team. Cheater, I know! By the way I took my Macbook to school at Thursday because Rina wanted to copy some of the songs from my laptop. And Mr. Royno was absent so we took pictures! YAY!

 

My eyes<3

I love that our smile synched! Brina/Icha

Sweeter version (of me, of course. Icha is so masculine that way)

Second half time is going on. Brb wattcchhhh

P.S. I got a new nickname! The twitter account of my class @smabix4 is a riot and my nickname is bawel or captious. I talk so much, do I? :))

Bonsoir

I've been busy, you know it. After daily practice of our Nasheed session.... We didn't even get a shot to finals. I personally think we're overthinking everything, but we lack determination and ideas. After all, not every ideas are taken in and being listened. Ehem. Anyway, I did get my trophy for winning 'Musabaqah Design Kartu Lebaran' or Ied Mubarak Card Designing. Unexpectedly... I came second:p When I didn't hear my name called on the third winner, my heart just melted away. I thought coming third is exciting enough, and is an enough excitement for a year 10 student. But then after, X-4 is called, followed by the name of Shabrina and Rizky (Kiki, my partner in crime for the competition). Literally speechless.

There goes my name. In perfect spelling, yay!!!!!!!!!!! I still worrying myself for not passing Pesantren Ramadhan because I'm letting myself leaving shalat wajib for 8 days or so. But I made a promise to myself, this last days of Ramadhan must count because I have to change to be a better muslim and be a better person, who knows if I could put up some good use in the future, and it will be nothing without Iman:p

#BrinaVersiRamadhan, I KNOW RIGHT.

X-4 Riot

Entah kenapa semakin kesini aku semakin gak tau malu.