Twisted

It's still a long way to go. Wait. Not long. Medium length. Like my hair now. Medium length.

Seeing the whole rush on my twitter timeline is not helping. Like the dilemma you had before a haircut. Enough with the hair relation. Focus now. Let's talk about college. Let's talk about the freaky stuff, because I had a lot to take in today and I need to let it out. I am a year twelve kiddo. Wait, what am I?!?!!!?

It's beyond scary. I think I might put my self in tears just to think about it. I always thought high school was the big part of someone's life but no, it's college. Early twenties is all about finding yourself and it happened in college. I always thought, Pfft. College. I will be steady by I hit seventeen and I will know whatever I want to do with my life by then. 

Uhm... Thirteen year old Brina? I'm not steady... And I don't know what I want to do with my life.

Can I dispose it on the garbage bin, though?

Anyway, I have two options. Both are difficult, though different difficult. Both options led to a different battle that I will conquer, but in a different manner. Both will give the same opportunity in the future and it's ripening with benefits. It's not cheaper or pricier than each other. My options are very... Even. 

Abroad. It's such a dream for me to go and to indulge. Living solo in a faraway land. Far from parents, my baby cousins and family, my besties that always pull me through. There are technology and skype and Line Free Calls, but until printers can print pizza or serve me a bowl of my Mom infamous beef stew, I'm not 100% in it. But a life in Europe. Even the small cities count and it will definitely be a trip. I am not upset over the fact that a) I have to learn a new language, b) it's hard. I just think the whole 'finding myself' thing will work better in Europe. To travel the world, even just a small piece of it has always been my dream. I don't need Eiffel and Pisa, I just want to walk and be a sponge around the beautiful surroundings. Plus... I get the chance to see my favourite football team play in house! Stamford Bridge, how I long for you!

On the other hand... I can just go local. There are a lot of good business school, public or private, that offers International classes if I still want to go abroad. That way, I can stay close to my friends, my parents have more control of me, and I can still eat meat. Call me loco, but I'm afraid I might've turn pescatarian because I cannot afford to eat meat. Eye roll, right. But... That's it? I thought I've grown myself into a self-challenger girl that isn't afraid of anything. Going local might've jinx the theme. I don't want to jinx my theme.

But nonetheless, if you can peek through my twitter timeline (the reason we all here talking about my future. Um... It's protected though), I've been offering people to come with me. To Germany. Do you know a trick of coin the internet has told me? 

If you're puzzled on something and you're torn apart in two options. Flip a coin. Not to see the result, but to find that little wish of the result you want to see when the coin flips. 

I have my decision, and I still have plans for both options. But with future... All you can do after you try, fight, struggle, flip and (finally) blow your head, is wait.